Shamed.

The phenomenon of man shaming by some women historically and today.

Note to readers. First that this is an unusual post, even for me, and secondly that it’s my third attempt to write and finish the post because, while it seems historically factual and personally true, it could be one that I get in hot water over. I found also that in my second try that I was trying to dodge around the subject and even apologize for the things I was saying : I find it best now just to speak my piece and take whatever flak comes ‘over the target’.

The historical perspective. I first learned about this when I was a very junior student nurse way back in the 1980’s and in my memory it was my late tutor whom told me about this recorded phenomenon and I only thought about it again recently when I saw a very smug London mayor posing with an underground tube sign – the newly renamed ‘Suffragette’ line and what came to my mind was ‘not so fast bucko’

The historical viewpoint that i’m referring to here is what was known in 1915 as the ‘order of the White Feather’ and was basically about women giving out white feathers as a sign or symbol of cowardice to young men not in uniform. If you’ve never come across this then for reference i’ll include part of an article written about it and it might be worthwhile to watch the following video.

For further reference of the historical phenomenon here is a cut and paste of an article about the white feather movement during the first two years of WW1.

“In August 1914, Admiral Charles Penrose Fitzgerald founded the Order of the White Feather. (1) He deputized thirty women in Folkestone to give out white feathers to any men not in uniform. The concept was based on the old cock-fighting lore that a cockerel with a white feather in its tail is a coward. (2)

With the support of leading writers such as Mary Ward and Emma Orczy, the organisation encouraged women to give out white feathers to young men who had not joined the armed forces. Lord Kitchener gave his support to the campaign: “The women could play a great part in the emergency by using their influence with their husbands and sons to take their proper share in the country’s defence, and every girl who had a sweetheart should tell men that she would not walk out with him again until he had done his part in licking the Germans.” (3)

The Daily Mail enthusiastically reported the activities of the Order of the White Feather, hoping the gesture “would shame every young slacker” into enlisting. “The generally female white feather distributors achieved much notoriety by frequently misjudging their targets, stories of men on leave, wounded, or in reserved occupations being handed down these odious symbols abound.” (4)

One young woman remembers her father, Robert Smith, being given a feather on his way home from work: “That night he came home and cried his heart out. My father was no coward, but had been reluctant to leave his family. He was thirty-four and my mother, who had two young children, had been suffering from a serious illness. Soon after this incident my father joined the army.” Frederick Broome was only fifteen years of age, when he “accosted by four girls who gave me three white feathers.” (5)

There are several records available to refer to so as far as I can research it really did happen and there are some very unfortunate examples of being completely improperly used – one of the first wartime VC recipients was ‘white feathered’ while in civilian dress while on his way to a family party to celebrate his Victoria Cross – Britain’s highest award for bravery.

For overall post context here – this being what I failed to do in my first two attempts at producing this piece – I was first told about this phenomenon by my then Nurse tutor and I have it in mind that it was as a result of having been quite viciously shamed by a notably infamous ward Sister, well known for her sharp tongue and contempt for any male below Consultant level. What I do remember quite clearly was discussing that incident, and it wasn’t the first or the last, with my Nurse tutor who was the first person to introduce me to the dark side (Star Wars was then still quite new) or negative side (Shadow perhaps) of feminism.

Now, quite obviously, as a young student nurse you have a lot to learn, all 30 of us in that one class did and mostly there was a shared camaraderie between us and when discussed it sounded as though there was a different approach in play between female and male students. It might have been better expressed, on the female to female side as relational aggression as there seemed to be a strong bullying tendency in those who dished it out. For me it seemed more like actual scorn or contempt and best to view my own position or status as being as my tutor described it to me – as being, at that time, the lowest of the low !.

It wasn’t just my time as student either, the last time I met the phenomenon was in the same year as I retired and by then I had been a staff nurse and then charge nurse, specialist nurse and even acted as a clinical nurse specialist : the outcome wasn’t quite what the nurse that last tried it expected though but by then i’d had some 40 years of practice with sharp tongued women.

My perspective, now that i’m retired and well outside healthcare, is completely different because iv’e been lucky enough to develop an interest in psychology and in that field relational aggression is certainly well known as the tactic and habit of female and male bullies alike. The last time I met an actual attempt at shaming was dished out by a female supermarket worker, and on the same day by a random mask wearing woman in the same supermarket during the Covid 19 years – my response was to retort rather sharply and tell her how incorrectly she was wearing and using a facemask. My new take on the subject comes from watching a series of lectures and video’s by Jonathan Pageau and in some of his video’s he talks about the inversion, notably in film, of the relationships between men and women – there is even a good example of man shaming in one of the Star Wars franchise films.

Going right back to the historical record though one feature is that it was started deliberately by a man (an Admiral) and supported by the then authorities and even mainstream press as a useful method in coercing men to sign up for active service. That it was strongly supported by some women might also be as a direct result of the wartime propaganda that played on the putative abuses of women at the hands of German soldiers (disproved I think). That it seems to have disappeared after 1916 possibly reflects the wider knowledge that the Western front had turned into a protracted and muddy slaughterhouse and perhaps women were waking up to the fact that their husbands and brothers were being slaughtered en masse for political ends. Finally, if you think that i’m only having a go at the womens movement then and the rise of powerful women today then no : I would have much worse to say about the Church of England vigorously preaching on the righteousness of marching to war..